Friday, September 13, 2013

Don’t wait for a Death Bed Moment to Say “I’m Sorry.” You May Miss The Opportunity!

One of the most tragic events anyone can experience is the unexpected death of a friend or loved one. When this happens, grief sets in immediately and most people often will say, “I just wished I would have had the opportunity to speak with that person one last time.”
It’s a different situation when a loved one is on their death bed and you have the opportunity to visit them in a hospital, be by their side, for hours, maybe for days or longer. But not so when they are taken within a matter of seconds, and when we least expect it.
“Oh, Johnny will live forever, and Mary will too!” I’ll call them up next week. I’m too busy with my life right now!” Then suddenly, your phone rings and you are given the bad news!
“Oh No, Dear God, No!”
What would you say to someone if you were alone with them and knew for certain they would be dead in 5 minutes? Think about it!

Would you tell them how much you loved them? How much they meant to you all of these years? Would you ask them to forgive you for any negative things that may have happened between you, such as mean or indifferent attitudes you may have had towards them; regrets you may have for not always responding to their needs, for neglecting them, or for any other events between them such as lying to them, talking about them behind their back, and even harboring resentment for one reason or another?

I’m certain that there are many people in this world with whom we have had negative experiences with, many grave ones, some minor; but wish we would have had a chance to make amends. Maybe it's a relative, aunt, uncle, cousin or even step-brothers and sisters, step daughters and step fathers, someone who shared a special portion of your life. Someone, who by circumstances beyond your control, were taken out of our respective lives.

One of the great and magical things about the Internet (especially Facebook) is that it has made it possible for folks we have not been in contact for years to reconnect. I personally have reconnected with many old friends and schoolmates I had not spoken to in years. One of these great connections is with a brother-in-law who I had not seen for over 40 years, who I had heard had died in Viet Nam; but he was actually alive and has been living a few miles down the road. I have even connected with former friends, colleagues old military buddies and many relatives I never had the chance to really get to know nor ever spent any time with. Even former high school friends (sweethearts) whom we dated but lost contact along the busy road of this long journey we call life. What a great thrill to reconnect, and to get the chance to say, "How have you been, or at least say I'm sorry we never got the chance to say good-by, and to let them know the special role they played in our life many years ago!"

Cleaning the slate is crucial for many; this is why the 9th step of Alcoholics Anonymous - Make direct amends to such people
wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
- is crucial for the healing process to ensue between people.
Unfortunately, unexpected deaths - especially after recently reconnecting after so many years - deny us of this privilege and opportunity. This is why it is crucial to our heart and soul to do it now, while we are still alive.
Many have heard the expression that “confession is good for the soul” never realizing the deep power of healing that act has not only on the confessor, but to the one being confessed to. Far too often we go through life harboring guilt or resentment towards another person never realizing it can probably be more harmful to ourselves. Quite often, after confessing your feelings to another person it can actually open up their heart, they never realizing you had these feelings, thereby affording them the opportunity to express their own sorrow and need for forgiveness as well. Maybe, both realize that failure to stay in touch was not for any personal reasons, but life's circumstances which were caused by situations we had no control over, that prevented both from reaching out to each other.
One of the saddest parts of this scenario is where that special person was told by someone else that the reason they were no longer in your life was because they abandoned you for some obscure reason that was not true. It could have been a mutual friend or relative who told you that he or she did not care for you. Or worse, told you an outright lie to get you to turn against them because that person hated or resented that person you lost contact with. Yes! People can be that mean-spirited. Sadly, an ex-spouse often uses this tactic to get back at their former mate, especially where children are involved. It happens all the time! That old saying, "Hell has no fury like a scorned spouse" was not coined for any obscure reason.

Nevertheless, 'forgiveness' is still the greatest cure in the world for past pain. However, if no one establishes communication between the alleged victim or the alleged accuser, the pain will last forever for both.
It is so sad in this day and age when we are so consumed with our own lives that we fail to take a few moments from our busy schedule to reach out and let those folks know how you actually feel. Now that we have instant messaging, emails and texting, there is no excuse for not reaching out to others; it’s never too late to express your love, affection and appreciation, and especially for saying, I'm sorry to a person who may be taken out of your life (again) within a matter of seconds.
 ~ to see your face, again, to hear your sweet voice whisper,
just one more time, to see that twinkle in your eye, 
knowing that whatever happened in our past, is history,
“I always Loved you, when last we said Good Bye ~
Don't wait for a death bed moment to say, " I'm sorry, please forgive me, or, I forgive you, or more importantly, to say I missed you, I have always loved you! You may miss out on the only opportunity you will ever get!

For more information about the author’s books, The End Times Passover and Why Christians Will Suffer Great Tribulation, and to access his web sites and blogs, please click on>>Joe Ortiz.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This touching blog is meaningful to me because I have a daughter who has serious pancreatic cancer who isn't living for the Lord. And she "shuts her ears" when I try to bring up spiritual matters and her need for a Saviour who can heal her. It would be great if everyone reading this would pray for two miracles: (1) That she will soon ask Jesus to be her Saviour, and (2) That Jesus will soon miraculously heal her of cancer! Thanks, Bro. Ortiz, for this wonderful and timely blog of yours. Johnny